One of the places I feel safe is the Library. I think it’s the calmness of it and the peacefulness. It’s one of the only places outside of my house where I feel I can cope, feel comfortable and feel at ease. A rare phenomenon.
However at the beginning of this year, my sanctuary of the local library disappeared. I knew it was coming. Change. But I had been ignoring it, denying it. All the libraries where I live were due to change. No more friendly receptionists, no more reception desk, just new machines. The whole library was updating and eventually it would also move to a different location.
I don’t like change. Change upsets me, throws me off guard, literally knocks me down. Change makes me extremely anxious.
Yesterday I walked in and found all the things I had been dreading.
The whole library system had changed literally over night. It was in the same location but they must have been trying the new machine systems before moving.
I wasn’t prepared for it.
I couldn’t stay. How could I? Fear consumed me.
I dropped my books and ran. My house was only 5 minutes away but it felt like it was miles. My legs wobbled. My hands trembled. My heart thudded.
I needed to get home. I needed to get away. I needed to run from the change.
I hate change… I’ve lost my one and only outside sanctuary.