I Don’t Do Change

One of the places I feel safe is the Library. I think it’s the calmness of it and the peacefulness. It’s one of the only places outside of my house where I feel I can cope, feel comfortable and feel at ease. A rare phenomenon.

However at the beginning of this year, my sanctuary of the local library disappeared. I knew it was coming. Change. But I had been ignoring it, denying it. All the libraries where I live were due to change. No more friendly receptionists, no more reception desk, just new machines. The whole library was updating and eventually it would also move to a different location.

I don’t like change. Change upsets me, throws me off guard, literally knocks me down. Change makes me extremely anxious.

Yesterday I walked in and found all the things I had been dreading.

The whole library system had changed literally over night. It was in the same location but they must have been trying the new machine systems before moving.

I Don't Do Change

I freaked.

I wasn’t prepared for it.

I couldn’t stay. How could I? Fear consumed me.

I dropped my books and ran. My house was only 5 minutes away but it felt like it was miles. My legs wobbled. My hands trembled. My heart thudded.

I needed to get home. I needed to get away. I needed to run from the change.

I hate change… I’ve lost my one and only outside sanctuary.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s