I had to write about today because I’ve had such a brilliant day!
I done my new morning routine and just felt really positive about what I achieved yesterday, which just put me in such a great mood. I was also really psyched as I had an old friend coming round to visit.
I was a bit nervous as it got nearer to them arriving, mainly because I was starting to worry about what we would talk about and what I would do if there was some awkward silence.
But when they turned up these thoughts all disappeared instantly and I had such a great time catching up with them!
When they left I felt so good! I had done so well the day before and then talking to my old friend had really brightened my day.
I felt like I was on a high so I decided to put my positivity to use and do some odd jobs that I had been meaning to do for a while.
I called and booked an appointment at the Opticians which was 6 months over due.
I called and booked an appointment at the Dentist which was 2 years over due.
I called and booked an appointment at the Job Center to see about getting extra support.
The Job Center have arranged a meeting for me next week. I don’t feel too nervous about it but I am worried they will chuck me on Job Seekers Allowance and declare ‘THAT GIRL IS FIT FOR WORK’ just because I contacted them for help.
I really do need specific help though, I want to work but it will be such a slow process.
I need to get over the agoraphobia firstly, but I think if I was working it would really increase my confidence and help me fight against everything better. Maybe if I could get some one-to-one support? Slowly get introduced into a role where I felt comfortable and supported? Start slow and eventually increase? Even if it was only an hours work a day? Even if Glen escorted me there everyday?
Surely then over time I would be able to do it myself?
I just don’t know… Just got to keep taking one step at a time.