Un-Pause Please

I’ve been a bit down in the dumps lately.

As you know, back in November ‘I referred myself for some support’ and was offered six CBT sessions.

These have in fact been and gone.

They where helpful at the time and I did feel like I had a little support but now they are over I just feel deserted.

They ended too soon.

It’s funny really because I took them as a precaution to help prevent my depression, yet in a way having taken them it’s made my depression worse.

It’s like having a glimmer of hope, having it ripped away and then having ten ton of bricks dropped on your back.

That’s what it feels like. Depression.

Overwhelming.
Crushing.

I just feel so stuck in life. Like nothing will ever improve.

What I have is all I will ever have. It’s never getting better.

For instance, me and my partner decided to move in with my Mum so that we could have the chance to actually save some money to buy our own house one day, yet months down the line and we still haven’t been able to save anything.

And right now, it feels like we never will.

So where does that leave us and our future? I don’t know and that is such a terrifying thought.

It’s like someone has pressed pause on our life and we’re unable to resume it until we have saved a huge amount of money or at least won the lottery.

Both options being as ridiculous and far fetched as the other.

Someone just press un-pause please!

Unpause Please

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