Are you ready for this?
I have some news…
I’ve been applying for jobs!
Well, so far, only two jobs but I’m still really proud of myself!
Yes, I know I’m still an agoraphobic with depression and anxiety but I thought if I could do a little part-time job, somewhere I felt okay travelling to, then surely it would help me to over come my issues more effectively…?
Like jumping into the deep end but with a life jacket, rubber ring, arm bands, goggles and a floating aid.
All this time that my benefits are ‘steady’ (touch wood, cross heart, recite prayer) then surely I should use this time to help myself, to try every option and possibility to over come my mental health problems.
I mean, if I could get a couple of hours a week; that’s some time away from the stressful situation at home, that’s an opportunity to really fight my agoraphobia, that’s a chance to meet new people, that’s a possibility to gain control of my anxiety, and that’s a way to feel more positive about myself.
Of course there is plenty of negatives I’m thinking but I’m trying to ignore them.
I’m already panicking in case I get an interview… Endless. Horrible. Possibilities.
I’m really worried about my benefits too.
I can just imagine being called in and told: “Your applying for work, therefore you should be on job seekers; classed as fit for work and looking for full-time work.”
If they do that, it’s the deep end without any safety precautions!
BUT I’m giving it a go!
All I can do is try. (And hope).
It really does feel like I’m doing something positive… but I’m positively petrified!