I think I’m hyperventilating.
I just can’t believe it…
This coming Monday!
I know I said ‘jumping in at the deep end may help me’ but remember that negative voice I was trying to ignore?
Well, that voice is now full on screaming at me, stomping it’s feet and acting out tragic death scenes in which I die a horrific death from panicking.
I really am scared. This is my first job interview in YEARS and I have no idea how to present myself or what to say.
I mean from a mental person point of view, there’s a lot going against me.
If I can’t even like myself, how am I meant to make a prospective employer like me?
Maybe I have jumped in the deep end way too soon. I don’t know. Oh god I really don’t know.
This feels really overwhelming and I mean it’s not like it’s a job of a life time… It’s cleaning, five hours a week at a community centre. (Please don’t laugh at me or think I’m pathetic for this. I’m trying and I need something small to introduce me back into the real world. For me it is a HUGE step… Leap. Jump. Dive. Suicidal fall.)
I suppose all I can do now is research and try to prepare for the unknown questions they throw at you.
My concentration and motivation is hard to locate though…
That negative voice is so domineering.