Domineering Negativity

I think I’m hyperventilating.

I just can’t believe it…

I.

Have.

An.

Interview!

This coming Monday!

I know I said ‘jumping in at the deep end may help me’ but remember that negative voice I was trying to ignore?

Well, that voice is now full on screaming at me, stomping it’s feet and acting out tragic death scenes in which I die a horrific death from panicking.

Tragic Death Scenes

Great.

I really am scared. This is my first job interview in YEARS and I have no idea how to present myself or what to say.

I mean from a mental person point of view, there’s a lot going against me.

If I can’t even like myself, how am I meant to make a prospective employer like me?

Maybe I have jumped in the deep end way too soon. I don’t know. Oh god I really don’t know.

This feels really overwhelming and I mean it’s not like it’s a job of a life time… It’s cleaning, five hours a week at a community centre. (Please don’t laugh at me or think I’m pathetic for this. I’m trying and I need something small to introduce me back into the real world. For me it is a HUGE step… Leap. Jump. Dive. Suicidal fall.)

I suppose all I can do now is research and try to prepare for the unknown questions they throw at you.

My concentration and motivation is hard to locate though…

That negative voice is so domineering.

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5 thoughts on “Domineering Negativity

  1. Firstly – CONGRATULATIONS! ❤
    No matter what the job is – getting an interview is exciting! Don't forget to congratulate yourself on your progress thus far!
    This is a great step towards your goal of getting back into the community, a reasonable amount of hours and a role which can allow you balance in your levels of human interaction!
    It's perfectly normal to be nervous. I used to work in a position hiring large numbers of staff and always felt that if someone wasn't a bit nervous, they didn't care about getting the job enough. 😉
    A good employer will want to see that you have a sound reason for wanting the job and that you are committed to doing it well – which I already see. They do not need to personally like all of you, just see that you will do a good job!
    Remember this job is for you as much as it is for the company, don't push yourself too much to try and fit a mould and try not to chastise yourself too much for not having everything else sorted. At this stage even the interview will be great experience for you in your job search.
    I wish you the very best of luck my dear! I'm sure you'll be great! 🙂
    Aimee xx

    • Hey Aimee,
      Thank you so much!! As much as the negative voice doesn’t want me to say it… I am actually proud of myself for getting this far! I mean, I’ve been offered an interview, I must have done something right with my application! It’s a little bit of a confidence boost for me and I hope I can keep this in mind during the interview. I’m terrified about the whole thing but I’m going to give it my best and just be myself…
      I think if I try to make out I’m some super confident prospective employee I’ll be putting myself under way to much pressure, so I’m going as me (if that makes sense).
      I’m just going to dip my toe in and see how the whole situation feels.
      Charlotte 🙂

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