An Old Ugly Friend

You get a job and think it will end all of your worries? Hell no.

Okay, so I feel a lot more happier then I was a couple of months a go and it honestly has done wonders for me but an old ugly friend has been rearing it’s head again – the waiting game.

When I was taken on, I was put on a temporary contract – something I didn’t want but something I couldn’t avoid.

And now that contract is soon to expire and I’m anxious as hell about what is going to happen next.

I’m trying to keep my logical head on. If they keep me on it’s brilliant, if not then at least I’ve had the experience and I can look for work again feeling a little more confident this time.

But I want to be kept on. I really do. And that is something I never thought I would want or even have the opportunity to want.

So now that it might be taken away? Absolutely gutting and actually, quite infuriating.

I could find out at any point between now and the next five weeks.

Oh, that wonderful waiting game.

I’m not crumbling this time though.

I’ll wait out this stupid waiting game.
I’ll work as damn hard as I can.
I’ll ignore those anxious threatening thoughts.
I’ll (excuse my language) fucking get through this.

War Painted

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5 thoughts on “An Old Ugly Friend

    • Argh! Tell me about it! Just to throw a spanner in the works, my manager has now left too!! So the only person who could have offered me a permanent position and knows how hard I’ve been working etc. has gone!! We should have a new manager by the end of next week but I doubt it will do me any good 😦

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